———Painful
———Lonely

Even if I tried to press the nurse call with my trembling hand, my vision is narrowing and growing darker, I don’t even know where it is.
The terrible pain in my heart, my lungs that don’t breathe, they let me know that my life has already come to an end.
Even though that is something I have prepared myself for so many times, I don’t want to die like this, my heart refused it with all its might.

It was a life, where I couldn’t make someone happy at all.

I became unable to leave bed before entering school, I don’t even have a single friend.
Even the nurses that tenderly care for me maintain a clear line, their relationship with me is just work.
I know that even my parents do not think well of my life, who has remained weak over many years.
Once I die, everyone will probably forget about me and move on.

The white sheets, pile of books and mechanical sounds of the hospital machines, this is the entirety of the world around me.
Memories of running around under the sun, doesn’t even exist.
I have never even went all out playing with someone or arguing with someone.
There is no memories of unforgettable happiness within me either.

Ah, what a, sad life it has been.
I don’t want to die, all alone.
For no one to mourn my death.
Such an empty life like this.

But, regardless of those feelings, the pain in my heart cut away at my consciousness.
It’s too late.
Even if I managed to press the nurse call, I will die.
In that case.

I reached my trembling hand, towards the book on top of the side table.
I might not reach.
I might not be able to grab it.
But, at least.
Even if nothing was left from my life, I want to die feeling happy at the end.
I want to touch that, that which I loved, which I yearned for, which was overflowing with hope like a dream.

If.
If I could be reborn, this time, like that person.

The extended hand, fell onto the white sheets without catching anything

[ToC] [Next]