I Chose to Fake My Death 03

Translator: 8u!
Editor: LP


Chapter 3: This Lifestyle Isn’t Really Right!

{School arc + New character}

I entered the bath after taking off my indoor clothes. As I eased my body in bit by bit, the water that overflowed slipped down off the side of the tub. The water temperature was just right and it was very comfortable. Blue hair was floating on the surface and maybe because of the water being a bit too hot, it made my small face feel red and dizzy. With only myself in the tub, I sunk my body underwater and the water level went over my nose.

“Fuuuu ~ So comfortable ~ It’s really hard to believe all those incidents that happened recently are real”

From a boy turning to a pretty little girl? That’s not scientific at all! But this is the reality, this cannot be doubted since it has already happened. That girl who possesses such a power, what is her real identity? Although we have no relation with each other anymore, but naturally it makes one want to know more!

A body that doesn’t need to excrete, everything eaten will be converted to energy, theoretically there is no need for hygiene, but as a girl how is it possible to be disheveled and unsanitary? Even if I am lazy, at the very least I should work on myself appearance wise…

Looking at the mirror, I tried smiling. But soon discovered that it looks like I just ate something unbelievable and my smile was contorted in a strange way. It was horrendous.
(Tn: unbelievable in a bad way)

“So it still doesn’t work huh….”

Sitting in the bathtub, as I thought about the start of school, my hands unconsciously crept between my thighs, until I felt a sensitive feeling then did I realize what happened.

“Mas…. Masturbating…. But this is a girl’s body ah….”
(Tn: I already understand the general meaning of 自慰 but searching online definitely helps… in wasting time on research)

Taking glances at all directions, as if forgetting it was deep in the night. Moreover from the ground floor up to the loft’s toilet, all three doors have been locked.

My hands gently stroked that place, it felt good… but I instantly stopped. “Wishing to be a girl doesn’t mean just doing this kind of stupid stuff!”

My heart soundlessly cried out from the inside,  reminiscing about two years ago, that period of depressing and hopeless days…

“If it’s not ‘that person’ who does this kind of stuff to me, then there is no meaning is there…?”

No longer possessing anymore desire to stay in the bath, I wiped myself dry of water droplets and left the bath after draining it.

It was a huge bed that made all other beds insignificantly tiny. Lying alone on that bed, I didn’t even use up a tenth of the bed’s total area, making it seem very disappointing. Staring at the ceiling, I was unmotivated to speak, unmotivated to do anything and unmotivated to think about anything. Because thinking back to that incident two years ago made my heart very heavy. Speaking about that incident, it was the trigger for my wish, because of that my dream was to become a girl.
(Tn: The first sentence was 100% inferred or else the other was of writing would be something similar to ‘the big big boss of being big bed’ which might sound cool but it’s just strange)  

The disputes between father and myself was constant and unwavering to each other. That was also when I had my first argument with my father, it was also the first time which I got beat until I coughed up blood. It was quite funny now that I think about it, the cause of this whole incident was because I didn’t serve him water, and I did not fight back at all.

Shaking my head, I tried to stop myself from reminiscing the past. Looking at the quartz clock opposite to me which indicated exactly 1AM,  I no longer had any enthusiasm to play.

Sprawled on my bed, I recollected the bits and pieces of memories during the two months after I had turned into a girl. Being hugged, being stroked, being cared for, everything was recalled and processed. Because of the bone fracture I had to go to the hospital and I couldn’t do anything, those two months was so far the brightest part of my life.

It would get even better from now on right? It’s only the beginning, will I experience another extraordinary incident like this one? I’m looking forward to it…

As I was still deep in thought about the future, the sky gradually became brighter, and it seems like this body of mine does not need any sleep…

Now that I think about it I still have to go to school…

“Hello everyone, my name is Iris”
(Tn: I changed it to Iris because it’s actually reasonable since pupil just sounds strange)

After bowing to the class and before the teacher had time to speak, I walked towards the empty table at the back of the class which did not have a deskmate. My deadpan expression showed my unwillingness to speak, my walk was silent like a ghost, my gradually changing pale blue hair flowed behind me.
(Tn: 渐变 means that her hair’s color gradient is always changing between different shades)

Year 1 Class 4, this was the class I am currently in. Including me there are 30 males and 21 females with a total of 51 students. There are 5 tables for each row, and just enough for me to be by myself. The class head is a female teacher, about her name it naturally did not have any relations with me, therefore I have no interest for knowing it.
(Tn: I’m really sorry but I made a mistake after translating this part… Just realised 初一 is not year 1 for primary school but secondary school. This means Year 7 (UK) or Grade 6 (US) -ish. By Class head it can also mean head teacher for that class who is responsible for teaching them the core subjects such as Chinese, English, Sports. They are also responsible for taking the attendance of students. AKA a homeroom teacher turned useful)

I have to admit, this body’s level of attractiveness is so strong I can feel the gazes of others all around me. It feels very uncomfortable and the life under the spotlight was not what I wanted at all.

After speed walking to the corner of the last row, I let out a sigh of relief. Out of energy, I was sprawled on table and begun looking at my surroundings.

Yo Ho! The ground is actually made of ceramic tiles! Not bad, Not bad. This table is quite new,  is it because I’m new? Looking at this learning environment overwhelmed me and I begun to tear up. The last time I was in a classroom the floor was made of concrete, the small tables have all been 7~8 generations old, unlike the current tables which were wide and smooth, comparing the quality of these two environments makes me feel like life is against me.
(Tn: 如意 means when things go how you want it and so 不如意 when it’s not but it can also means disappointing, however with a more subtle/low key tone.)

Instead of saying ‘things not going my way’ I might as well just say ‘it’s disappointing’. 30 boys, each and every one of them are as small as beans which are not even as tall as me. Also, the 20 girls in my class, half of them aren’t even my type. Lying on the table looking at my left and my right…only to realize there really is nothing to look at…
(Tn: The beans here for measurement can also mean Edward in FMA since has is only 1.5m because 豆丁 is a nickname for Edward Elric)

Hearing a faint bell go off that signaled the end of the lesson, I lifted my head up in a daze and stretched lazily. When I opened my eyes I was frozen stiff, why are there so many people surrounding me??!

The crowd surrounded me in a circle with me as the center, one ring around another and I couldn’t even make out how many rings there were.

“Ouu…”
[Crying sfx]

A bottomless feeling of dread and danger begun to creep out from every depths of my heart, the corners of my eyes gradually begun to fill up with tears, a feeling of wanting to escape this place begun to rise from my heart, but being surrounded from every corner by rings of people meant I had nowhere to go.

“Stay away from me!!!”

I shouted out with a sobbing tone. I myself didn’t know what happened before or after, I didn’t know why I was surrounded by so many people, I also didn’t know why I felt so scared, even more I didn’t know why I started crying.

Teardrops as large as beans begun to drop, my body leaned against a wall. That circle of people noticed the child that they were surrounding had begun crying and lost their smiles one after another. The people in the very first ring begun slowly taking steps back, stepping on the second ring of people behind them. Ring upon rings begun piling on each other, as one fell down they brought another down with them, until over half of them ended up crashing on the floor

But I was was the only one that was not aware that I was crying, or maybe being surrounded by those seventy or so people really scared me huh…

“You guys! What are you doing in our classroom! And you, and you, and you! What kind of things are you sticking your nose into? Can’t you see she is crying because of you?” (Classmate)
(Tn: 凑热闹means like join in with something that is happening. Like a sheep following another sheep but it also means to cause trouble and in this case they are being questioned to the reason for doing it so I changed the def to something that fits ‘they are being nosy’)

The owner of that voice came from the door at the back of the room, it was loud and full of vigor in a tone of intimidation, which made whoever heard it be forced to obey. But that voice in my mind sounded like a next door older brother calling out kindly and tenderly.

I secretly opened one of my eyes while crouching in the corner of the wall to discover a young man with short red hair standing in the doorway and hands on his hips while talking about something. After that the people who were surrounding me had reduced to seven or eight.

『He was the one that saved me? ….』

Kneeling on the floor while leaning against the wall, I held my hands up to my chest and looked up towards him…

After a while I realized how girlish the actions I did just now were and instantly ashamed of myself, I ran towards the classroom door.

But this boy was interesting…is he a delinquent?

Letter for requesting a leave:

Because I was surrounded by a bunch of students I suffered from a mental breakdown, therefore I request for a 1 day leave. I hope you are willing to give me permission as a teacher. – Iris

Our year is located in the main school’s third floor, it’s a long and narrow corridor. The two ends of the corridor were the male and female toilets, in the middle and at the ends of the corridor in total were three sets of stairs and two of them lead to the main passage, the main passage then leads to the track field. The teacher’s office is split on both sides of the middle staircase. If I remember correctly, the head teacher is a chemistry teacher right?

“Reporting, teacher.”

“Enter”

Once I entered the office, I saw the 1.7m simart teacher. Her chin was resting on one hand, the other on the mouse scrolling through Weibo.
(Tn: Used Simart instead of smart because the chinese is a web slang which is supposed to sound like smart spoken in english. Weibo is a form of Twitter but china)

“Teacher I want to request for a absence from school, here is my letter for requesting a leave.”

I gave the letter that was held in both my hands in a respectful way, once she took it she tore it to shreds without even looking at it. I was just about to ask her the reason until she began scolding me.

“You little brat, being the beautiful girl you are what more could I expect?  Just because one or two people came to look at you, you became this smug?“
(Tn: 小兔崽 has multiple meanings of bastard, brat, someone that is really annoying)

“And you’re still trying to cause another incident. Mental breakdown? Tell your teacher this is what a actual mental breakdown is! To be pissed off by such a stupid and cute brat and moreover to be this ignorant…”
(Tn: 熊娃 means a really cute child but is really annoying and bratty plus a bit stupid. However if you direct translate it it will be bear child)

“Teacher… It wasn’t just one or two people…” I was planning to correct her.

“Shut up, go back to your class.” She waved her hand at me, signaling me to go away faster…

This teacher’s attitude and tone when she speaks really makes me hate her, and anyways how was it one or two people, obviously two entire classes all came to surround me! They dare to sneak off without taking responsibility….

Going back to the topic at hand, why did I cry just now? Although it did seem like I gave off a aura of vulnerability which attracts the desire to protect me, but as a former man it is still hard to accept my current crybaby self….

Glancing at the clock at the front of the classroom I realized there was only a few minutes before class starts, getting a uneasy feeling as I checked the class schedule, this class schedule gave me a huge shock and surprised me.

Aiaiai? It’s chemistry? Is it that teacher who does not have any form of etiquette teaching chemistry??!

I sat back down on my seat, with one hand holding my head and the other gently tapping on the table. Should I properly listen to the lesson in order to give her a good first impression, or should I sleep on the table to disrespect her for revenge?

Maybe because when I went to school before, one the lesson starts it would cause me to fall asleep. Once I hear the school bell ring my brain would automatically become sluggish. I tried waking myself up by shaking my head left and right, I softly rubbed my eyes and flipped open the textbook. The contents of the book and it’s difficulty in my eyes was just as funny as when the desktop had crushed me, after flipping through a few pages I threw it aside.

With my eyes drooping, after thinking over carefully, I have decided to sleep in class! If she doesn’t care then I’ll leave it at that. However, if she decides to pick on me I’ll use my knowledge from my senior years in this since nothing is difficult in this no-brains-required secondary school curriculum.

After a while, the bell rung to signal the start of class. However I was gracefully lying down on on a pink pillow with my eyes drooping down, waiting for the teacher to arrive….

“Class starts now”

This teacher was strict and vigorous in her duties, she does not dawdle on speaking unnecessary things and started the lesson straight away. Not bad, at least she is an excellent substitute teacher in my eyes for now.

“Let’s talk about the properties of oxygen for this lesson today. Oxygen is a necessity for human’s everyday life….”

As the listener, I withdrew myself to the corner of the classroom and comfortably buried my face into the soft pillow. Ah~ It really is true that the purpose of life is to purely indulge oneself in pleasure~  What on earth have I been doing for the past eighteen years for my past life….

I dare say that the teacher has already noticed my elegant sleeping figure, but she had ignored me completely. What tolerance! To be this considerate towards students, she truly is suitable to be the role model for all teachers today! Good teacher! Excellent teacher!

“The new student who just transferred here, stop sleeping. I know you received heavy injuries because of your weak body, but I really hope you can actually pay attention in lessons,  just so it can serve for a base to your future academics….”

Che! Just now in the office when I had suffered from your lecture why were you not as nice as you are now? Worrying about my body? Caring about my education? Even if you try to flatter me through any means I will still not change my opinion on you!

Just as I was lifting my “honorable” head and about to give her a contemptuous stare I realized that I had made a huge mistake…. the person in front of me was a young teacher, she looks very kind and gentle. Black hair flowing down to her shoulders, violet eyes that were big and round, which were looking directly at me.

“Sorry! Sorry! I though teacher was the chemistry teacher which scolded me and just wanted to piss her off a bit, it turned out that this wasn’t the case. Sorry….”

Oh my god, I actually recognized the wrong teacher? How big of a mistake did I make? Truly the more I live the less I progress. To commit such a serious mess up, how can I deal with this now!

My head hanging low with guilt, my eyes unwillingly began leaving a streak of tear down my face. This unknown tear, are you here because of fear or regret?

As the sounds of footsteps got closer. My heart began beating restlessly. The footsteps sounds had stopped, it seems like the day which I meet my maker has arrived, but what came after was instead a hand which began stroking me gently.

A warm hand which was gently stroking my head.

“That person is the head of the chemistry department, she is responsible for our year’s students and is also the head of this year. She is also the vice principal for our school. She enjoys abusing her power, I don’t like her much also. That’s why, stop crying, it’s alright now….

The gentle stroking made me feel secure, as if it can make one forget all their pain and suffering…

“What is your name teacher?”

“Hua Ling…”
{Tn: Her name was a choice between Bella because Ling is bell or just pinyin but since people would be triggered I’ll keep it pinyin}

Hua Ling teacher said, she was just a substitute teacher, after a while she would be leaving this class so there might not be a chance to meet again…

The bell signaled the end of class as timely as ever, with a heavy heart I stepped out of the school campus. Not long after, I was embraced from behind as a pair arms restrained my own. I ended up losing control over my entire body…

“Who?? Let go of me!”

I was struggling furiously as both my arms were sealed, but the strength of his two arms made me unable to put up a proper fight…

“Come on…let go of me…”

Even after trying to break free with all my might, I was unable to escape from his clutch. I felt the gentle breath from behind me which brushed past my ear, are you toying with me? Not knowing whether to feel embarrassed or to continue my desperate struggle, a veil of drowsiness begun to cover my face…following with my body losing all its energy, as it turned from a desperate struggle to something not far from a child acting spoiled…

[Bastard…. This kind of thing would cause a huge uproar….]

I stopped struggling, feeling as if completely surrounded by warmth and good will…

He slowly moved, releasing his arms which were holding me and changed to a princess carry, his two hands lifting up my body, I can finally see the owner of that pair of slender and soft arms.

[Soft??]

It was a young man wearing a white windbreaker, with black hair and handsome features. I, who was held by the neck was unable to avoid his face which brushed against mine, felt his smooth and shiny skin…

“Big Brother…? ” I timidly called out to him…

“Such a cute innocent youngling, can I take you and eat you?” As he spoke, he softly rubbed my cheeks…

[Master, you’re not following the right story route! No wait this might be the correct route….]

Sneakily opening one of my eyes, I ended up directly meeting his gaze. Seeing that affectionate and kind smile on his face, it feels like something is really off!!

[This can really pull a young girl’s heart strings, good thing I’m not a girl…]
(Tn: Iris uses a very masculine way of saying I in this sentence)

Just as I was beginning to suspect this man more and more, I received a surprise attack…

“Ou….”

I was dumbfounded… why, suddenly kissed me… isn’t this… but we just met… right…

[I’m a guy… although I really want to be treated like this.. But I’m a guy!!]

When I had regained my rational thoughts, I discovered currently I was in a nearby park. The mental retard was sitting on a chair at the side of the street with posters plastered all over it, and I was in his arms somehow.

“Obtained a innocent and cute loli at the gates of a middle school, need reply as soon as possible…”
(Tn: The full end sentence should be 在线等,挺急的 is an online joke implying the person asking the question is actually committing it. E.g. What would happen if someone drinks 20 liters of cola and 20 packets of popping candy in one go? Will they die? Need reply as soon as possible!”)

[Hah??! I can’t tolerate this anymore…]

“There’s a gay guy stripping my pants off!!!!” As I screamed I attacked him, striking a fatal blow by chopping at his neck with my arm.

And it was absolutely balls usless….

“Little sis, how about big bro take you to go look at goldfish~”

[Youuuu motherrr f*ckerrrr]
(Tn: this was the closest logical insult I can think of because if I was to translate it it would turn out to be something along the lines of “your mother’s genitals” and there is also slang included)

“Big bro, just let me go yeah? We are both guys here so can we please not go there, and being perverts with this much experience, why are you trying to go for an eroge approach!” I used my arms to push away his as he reached for me but I still remained in his lap obediently.

“It’s ok, I already felt it. If you really were a guy, you would have already lost your ass’s virginity!”

“You… you you you… what did you feel??!!!”

“Your hole obviously, that soft and tender feeling was the best!!” His brilliant smile once again blinded my 128K krypton eye…
(Tn: WOW joke in china about using the rare material to make a eye which is OP. Materials can cost up to XX0,000 gold and when something is so good or blinding it can break the item)

[Youuuu motherrr f*ckerrrr]

“Alright, for touching a girl’s most important part, you really want to die don’t you….”

(Tn: I’m really sorry this took more than 2 weeks. Exams just finished so I can work on this full time and I will try to make up to this by spamming these chapters… but maybe at the cost of translation quality… like this chapter)

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7 Comments »

  1. What. Who’s this molester? He just kidnapped MC, but MC seems kinda too chill in regards to the situation? I thought there would be more hysteria…but ah oh wells. He dared feel up the loli tho…there needs to be divine retribution > 3 > )) Thanks for the chapter~

    Like

  2. …. no really this time. Send help. What is happening? “Master”? huh? what? when? Why is he/she SIX grades below where he should be? Author this plot had a ton of potential. What are you doing?
    The translation seems to be really good quality wise soooo……… au th or s a n!

    Like

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